Disclaimer: The following story is mostly true. Names have been changed to protect the stupid, and the heartbroken. Contains drinking, adult themes and may contain physical scenes between both hetero and homosexual couples (all consensual). If this offends you or is illegal where you live, find something else to read.
Chapter 1
Julie placed yet another box into the back of the trailer and swiped at her brow with the back of her hand. The humid summer evening held no breeze, and no relief from the sweat that drenched her shirt, causing it to stick to her uncomfortably. I really am a sucker – she thought to herself, as she turned back toward the house to grab another load. She broke up with me and here I am helping her move her crap so she can go on some adventure… She shook her head to clear her thoughts, though it didn’t do her any good.
She picked up a box off the porch as Carrie stepped out of the screen door, another load in her hands. “You know you don’t have to do this Jules” she began, but Julie just shrugged.
“I know I don’t, but you’re too damn stubborn to ask anyone else, and I still care.” She sighed as she shifted the box in her hands “Besides, we’re almost done.”
Carrie offered a half-smile as she stepped off the porch “Thanks. For what it’s worth it means a lot to me.” Julie watched as her former lover strode past her toward the trailer, her long ponytail swishing behind her. It had only been two months since they had moved to this house – the house that was supposed to be their country respite while they saved for the down payment on their future dream home. The search for a place and the move from the city had been tough, but Julie was so sure once they were settled out here where Carrie grew up things would calm back down to the happiness they once shared. Instead things only got worse, until Julie had to ask the question she didn’t want to know the answer to – and heard the words she was dreading.
They finished loading the trailer in relative silence, broken only by the shuffle of boxes and the occasional groan as one of them lifted a package that turned out to be heavier than expected.
As Carrie locked up the trailer, Julie plopped herself on the porch next to Orion, the lop-eared mutt that shared their lives. He’d be heading cross-country with Carrie, and Julie knew she was going to miss him almost as much as she was Carrie. She bit back tears as a cold nose and soft brown eyes sought out her face. “I’m going to miss you too boy,” she whispered as she took his head in her hands and scratched him behind both ears “but you be good for your momma okay?” A soft wet tongue lapped at her nose in response and she couldn’t help but chuckle, even as a silent tear rolled down her cheek.
“He’s going to miss you too y’know.” Julie looked up to see Carrie at the foot of the steps with her arms crossed over her chest. “I…” she started, but shook her head, unable to complete the sentence. “We should both try to get some rest.” Julie nodded as she stood and turned to head into the house with Orion on her heels. Once inside the two women turned in separate directions – Carrie headed upstairs while Julie made her way toward the living room. Orion stood in the empty kitchen for a few moments, looking back and forth to each doorway, apparently confused as to why his family was no longer all sleeping in the same place, but a whistle from upstairs perked his ears and he bounded toward the summons.
Julie lay in her sleeping bag in the otherwise barren living room, exhausted but unable to quiet her mind enough for sleep. She stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out what had gone wrong between her and the woman who occupied the room directly above her. She closed her eyes and turned to her side – the first of countless tosses and turns for that night before she finally dozed off.
With no curtains on the windows to darken the room, Julie was awake at first light, despite having little rest. It’s better this way she thought to herself as she rolled up her sleeping bag. She quickly dressed and quietly let herself out of the house, and out of Carrie’s life. Thoughts of a hot shower and a soft bed kept her going on the hour-long drive to her new apartment, where it didn’t take her long to cry herself to sleep.
Chapter 2
Julie stabbed at the peas on her plate as music far too cheerful for her tastes hummed in the background. She was only vaguely aware of the fact that one of them had flown from her plate until a sharp “Hey!” pulled her from her musings. She looked up to see her friend Tara fishing the offending vegetable out of her cleavage.
“Sorry, I just figured maybe your cell phone and keys would like some company” she offered with a light chuckle. Tara had a habit of keeping an assortment of odd things tucked away in her ample bosom and Julie never let an opportunity to tease her about it get away.
“Well you didn’t have to pee on me” Tara shot back with a wink, amused at her own cleverness. Julie laughed, despite herself. “C’mon, you begged me to go out – said you were sick of being cooped up in that apartment, and now you sit here an mope? What gives?”
“Sorry Tee, you’re right. It’s been months. I need to pull my head out of my ass.”
“You talked to her again, didn’t you?” Tara asked, with a knowing tone.
“Maybe.” Tara shot her a look “Okay yeah I talked to her. We still talk a lot.” Julie fidgeted with the straw in her seltzer, poking at the slice of lemon that had sunk to the bottom of the glass. “Long before we were lovers we were best friends – that’s hard to just walk away from.”
“I know hon, but you’re in a far bigger funk than you usually are after talking to her. What did you talk about?”
Julie took a deep breath as she continued to play with the straw, avoiding eye contact. “She’s moved on” she managed, her voice barely audible over the din of the restaurant. From the corner of her eye she could see Tara sit back in the booth, nodding.
“I had a feeling. I’m sorry honey.” They sat in silence for a few moments before Tara managed the next question. “Someone out there?”
“No, someone back here” she grumbled. “The same someone who she claimed was trying to help her salvage what we had, while Carrie was trying to help Morgan save her relationship with Luke.” She finally gave up on mutilating the lemon in her glass and threw up her hands. “She swears nothing happened while we were still together but jeez, did it really have to be her? Bad enough if it were some stranger out there that I could just hate from a distance, but now I have this in my face every time all our friends get together?” Julie blew out an exasperated breath. “And she totally sat there like nothing was wrong all last weekend, though apparently she and Luke finally had it out. They’re officially through.”
Tara nodded while her friend ranted. She knew she needed this – needed to get out the anger, the frustration the betrayal. “Have you talked to Morgan since Carrie told you all this?” She asked quietly.
Julie shook her head. “What would I say? What good would it do? And worse, we’re all in the bridal party when Lisa and John get married next year.” She held up a staying hand as Tara opened her mouth to speak . “I’m not backing out of the wedding – that’s not fair to the bride and groom. I’m a big girl. I’ll deal with it.” She let out a deep sigh as she placed her elbows on the table, propping up her head in her hands. “Besides, it’s not like I didn’t know Carrie was going to move on before I did.”
“I know it hurts now Jules, but give it time” Tara offered, placing a hand on Julie’s arm. “You two were together for over three years – and you were friends before that. Give yourself time to heal, don’t beat yourself up because she’s over it faster. It’s not a race.”
Julie just shook her head “Either way, I lost.”
Silver Tides 