So What’s Your Goal, Ms. S?

One of the teachers must have had the kids do something on goals or resolutions today. So in the midst of the afternoon holiday party, one of the girls asked me “What’s your goal this year, Ms. S?” 

I was stumped.

I have spent the last year and change focusing on getting here. And now I’m here. I mean, of course I want to finish grad school and get my masters, but that’s not so much a goal as it is an eventuality in my mind. And of course the ongoing goal is to constantly become a better teacher. Again, something that’s an eventuality. But, what do I want to DO?

Thanks for making me scratch my head there, kiddo. 

Passing the Baton

Last night I had the baton passed to me in grad school. The award device itself is a play on the school’s name (Relay) but the award is interesting.

The first one was given by the staff to one of us, but since then it gets passed each session from one grad student to the next, for exhibiting a number of desirable traits. Among those traits are things like grit, dedication, and so on. Recipients get their picture on our little wall of fame.

Last night I received it for “social intelligence.” I had helped the person who passed it to me revise her teaching demo for an interview. Something others had helped me with in the past, and certainly something I’d helped others with too. What I hadn’t realized at the time was that after going on many (read: 12+) interviews, she had decided that this one was do-or-die: if she didn’t get it, she was leaving the program. Wow, no pressure.

I could have gone the traditional route and gone back to school on my own and hoped to find a job. I went through the Fellows because I wanted… no… I knew I needed the support of a like-minded community. So I do what I can to foster that. And it all comes back in wonderful ways.

Now I need to decide who to pass it to when we reconvene in February. So many wonderful colleagues and friends…

Memo to Your Younger Self

So, this was a meme on Facebook today. You only have two words to say to your younger self. What would you say? 

Most of the replies were silly. One person wrote “Buy Apple,” which is hilarious. What did I write? Nothing. What did I ALMOST write? “Come out.”

Why didn’t I actually write it?

Sometimes I envy people who figured it out early. They didn’t go through the mess of a failed marriage or confusing their loved ones. They knew exactly who they are… or at least, knew enough about themselves to question about it sooner than I did. There’s a kid in the 8th grade that I haven’t been able to nail down the gender of all year. Found out today that’s on purpose – born a boy, but acts/dresses like a girl. Well at least I don’t feel so dumb anymore. Good for you, kid. I was even more encouraged to find that the other kids are accepting. The skeptic in me wonders if that’s because of the insane height difference (this kid is easily 5’9 in middle school) but hey, good is good.

Other times I’m grateful it took me as long as it did to figure it out. Do I wish I could have done it without hurting feelings, paying alimony (yes, I paid HIM) and costing my parents a small fortune on a wedding? Sure. But every experience I’ve gone through – including that one – has made me who I am. 

And I like me.