From Some Other Beginning’s End – Chapters 6-7

Disclaimer: The following story is mostly true. Names have been changed to protect the stupid, and the heartbroken. Contains drinking, adult themes and may contain physical scenes between both hetero and homosexual couples (all consensual). If this offends you or is illegal where you live, find something else to read.

Chapter 6

“What do you mean she’s back with Luke?” Julie asked as she cradled the cell phone between her ear and her shoulder, attempting to fold laundry as she talked. “I thought you said she was moving out there to be with you?”

A tearful Carrie sniffed into the phone “I don’t fucking know anymore. Maybe I should just make the decision for her and be done with it.”

Julie sighed. I can’t believe I’m doing this. WHY am I doing this? She sat on the end of the bed and took the phone in her hand properly, ignoring the waiting clothes for the moment. “Maybe she doesn’t know what she wants. But if you keep running away and don’t give anyone a chance then you’ll never know what it’s like. Remember, you closing off and running and not communicating is the thing you said you regretted with us…” she let the statement hang, hoping it would have the desired impact.

Carrie sighed on the other end of the phone “I know. Being three-thousand miles away just makes it hard, y’know? I’m sure if I were there it would be different.”

Julie was starting to lose her temper. Morgan had been toying with Carrie for months now, one minute professing love, the other making excuses for Luke, and Julie was getting very close to driving up to Connecticut and doing exactly what she had once promised Morgan she would… and make it look like an accident. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe she’s telling both of you what you want to hear, because she doesn’t know what to do?” she asked, with bit more of an edge to her voice.

“I wish she’d make up her fucking mind. It’s just… ah I’m sorry Jules, I shouldn’t be telling you all this while you’re still trying to heal” she said, switching gears again. If not for the fact that Carrie was the worst liar in the world, Julie would have sworn it was some sort of game. “I just don’t have anybody else I can really talk to…”

“It’s fine Car, really” Julie offered, reassuring herself just as much as she was Carrie. “Like I’ve told you a million times, I’m still your friend, and I still care.”

“I know, and it’s appreciated.” she sniffled again. “I’m going to try to get some rest – and you probably should too, it’s after midnight where you are.”

“Yeah, I was too wound up to sleep so I started doing housework, but you’re right, I should try to get some rest” Julie admitted. “You know how to find me if you need me.”

“Yep. Thanks Jules. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Carrie” Julie touched the screen on her phone and hung up the call. Flopping backward onto the bed she let out an exasperated breath. It wasn’t so much that she minded that Carrie called her – she was actually glad of that. No, it was the fact that Morgan was throwing away the one thing in the world Julie wished she could get back, but far from being that altruistic, she just couldn’t bring herself to tell Morgan that.

Chapter 7

It seemed like all Julie had to do was blink and suddenly she was smack in the middle of the holidays. She looked at the pictures her mother had posted on Facebook and chuckled ruefully… somehow it always worked out that out of herself and her two siblings, one of them was always single in the Christmas photos. Apparently this year was her turn.

As she flipped through the photos, her brother, and sister-in-law smiled, looking nauseatingly cute holding her newborn niece. Her sister and her new beau still had that lovey-dovey look all over them. And there she was holding the family dog, staring back at herself from the screen. Both the Julie in the picture and the Julie looking at it were trying not to cry.

She didn’t begrudge her siblings their happiness though. Of all the guys her sister had dated, Julie really liked Ben, and was actually hoping he’d ask Rachel to marry him (though not nearly as much as Rachel hoped the same thing). Tim and Annie’s little bundle – in addition to being adorable – had actually taken some of the pressure off of her where that whole “next generation” thing was concerned. Julie had just hoped that for once there would actually be a Christmas picture with six people in it, not five, and she had planned on Carrie being that sixth for a long time. Instead, at least her mother had been kind enough to not take a five-person picture this year.

New year’s wasn’t promising to be any better. In fact, Julie had pretty much planned on spending the evening at home, watching the hour tick depressingly by. Travis and Kathrine had invited her (and about a hundred of their other closest friends) to their house for New Year’s. When she saw him just before Christmas she had been about to decline, but she hadn’t planned on Travis’s little surprise. He’d pulled her aside and managed to twist her arm with one of the few things she couldn’t say no to – just before midnight, he was planning to propose. So despite the tears leaving trails down her cheeks, Julie found herself packing up her Jetta for yet another road trip, this time to New York.

As she pulled up to the house, the long driveway was already full, and a line of cars extended down the road past several houses. Pulling into the first available spot she put her city-honed parallel parking skills to use, neatly fitting into the tight space. She cut the engine and hit the trunk release button. Loading herself up with her overnight bag, sleeping bag and case of beer she made her way up to the front door. The glass storm door was closed but the inner door was open, revealing the party inside. She could hear music, muffled conversations and laughter as she approached. Swallowing the knot in her throat she pushed down her depression and anxiety and put on the best face she could before carefully kicking the door. “Hey, open up, lady with booze!” she called, her arms full.

Her friend Mike looked up from his drink toward the door as a smile of recognition split his features. He strode over to the door and pushed it open. “Hey thanks!” he said, grabbing the beer and then starting to pull the door shut. He didn’t make it halfway through his joke however before Julie whacked him soundly on the arm. “OW! Ok, you can come in too. Sheesh!” he said with a smile.

Julie allowed him to take the case of beer so that she could grab him in a one armed hug. “Love you too man, where’re Travis and Kathrine?”

“Floating around here somewhere, being the gracious hosts that they always are.” he noted the sleeping bag tucked under her arm. “Most folks are crashing in the basement, so you might want to toss your stuff down there. The steps are down the hall” he offered, pointing the way.

“Thanks Mike, I’ll do that.” she nodded, heading in the indicated direction. Along the way she greeted several more friends. There were a handful of people throughout the house she didn’t know, but the vast majority were good friends or at the very least acquaintances, and it took her the better part of half an hour to actually make it to the basement area where guests were depositing their belongings for the eventual crash. She divested herself of her bags and winter coat, revealing the plain white v-neck t-shirt underneath. Her friends didn’t seem to know how to throw a party without a theme – this year’s was “graffiti,” and included not only huge pieces of paper on the walls begging for decoration, but all guests had been instructed to wear a shirt that could be drawn on as well.

As she stood bent over arranging her things a smart slap in the ass made her whirl around. “I was wondering where the hell you were.” Travis was behind her smiling a goofy grin, a bottle of beer in his the hand while the other still rested on her ass. Julie could tell however that he was still mostly sober – she figured he wanted to be lucid for what he planned later in the evening. “I was starting to wonder if we’d be watching the ball drop without you.”

“Nah,” she sighed, swatting his arm away playfully. “Traffic from Jersey was a bitch – I’m not the only one heading somewhere tonight y’know. But I promised you I’d be here, and you know I don’t break promises.” She winked at him conspiratorially.

“Good. I’m glad you’re here” he offered, pulling her into a tight hug. “I want everybody I care about to be here for this.”

“Wouldn’t miss it man” she smiled at him. “But I am far too sober for a New Year’s party, so I need to fix this. Show me to the bar.”

Travis bowed, and in his best English accent “With pleasure my lady” and offered her his arm. Julie was impressed when he lead her over to the other side of the basement, which hosted a full wet bar. Bottles of top shelf liquor lined the shelves behind it, and racks of wine and martini glasses hung from the ceiling.  Upon arrival he loudly proclaimed what had become his tag line over the years: “NOBODY DRINKS ALONE!” as he scooted behind the bar, gently shoving the bartender aside, and grabbing a bottle of X-Rated, which he knew was Julie’s favorite from the shelf. Reaching under the bar he began pulling out shot glasses and lining them up in front of him. “Who’s having a shot?” he called. Several people made their way over, hands outstretched as Travis doled out shot after shot, including one to Julie. Everyone stood, shot in hand awaiting the toast (there always was one). When Travis was satisfied that there were enough people with shots in hand, he held his own aloft. “To good times, with good people” he offered simply, raising his glass and looking at the friends assembled in front of him.

“I’ll drink to that” Julie replied, as everyone knocked back their glasses. As the cool liquid slid down her throat Julie noticed Valerie out of the corner of her eye, having also just downed her own shot. She could feel the redhead’s eyes on her as she turned around. “Hey stranger, haven’t seen you in a while” she said with a smile, placing her now empty glass on the bar.

“Yeah, long time no see” Valerie replied, arms outstretched for a hug, which Julie graciously accepted. She was glad to see it was a genuine hug as Valerie pulled her in tightly, not one of those polite hugs that some people give. “I hate to drink and run, but Samantha and I are doing a dance performance just before Travis’s toast tonight, so I need to go change.”

Julie was mildly disappointed but knew the party was nowhere near winding down. “Oh, no sweat I’ll catch up with you later.”

Valerie looked Julie up and down for a second. “You don’t have any graffiti on you” she noted.

Julie shrugged. “I literally just got here when Travis dragged me over for that shot. I haven’t had the chance to be tagged yet.”

Valerie’s expression turned playful – bordering on sultry as she grabbed a marker off the bar. “We’ll have to fix that then. Turn around” she ordered.

Julie quirked an eyebrow and quipped “Yes ma’am” before complying. Valerie smoothed out the fabric of the shirt before starting her work. Julie couldn’t quite tell what Valerie was drawing, but she was taking her time with long, broad strokes of the marker down her back, her left hand sliding gently as she drew with her right, keeping the fabric taught. Julie hoped Valerie couldn’t feel her reaction to the gentle touch – she still wasn’t quite sure which team Valerie was on, and didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

A few more flicks between her shoulder blades and Julie could hear the cap snap back onto the marker. Valerie grabbed her shoulders and turned her human canvas left and right, appraising her work. “That oughta do it” she said, giggling. “See you at the show!” and she bounded off to get ready.

Julie craned her neck to try to see the new decoration but was only able to see a few swirls on either of her shoulders. Shrugging, she grabbed a bottle from a bucket of ice on the bar – some sort of fruity malt drink. Shrugging she twisted off the cap and took a long swig – a bit sweet but not bad. Looking toward the room where her graffiti artist had disappeared, she could see people starting to gather on the floor in anticipation. A couple of familiar faces waved as she made her way over to join them.

Jen and Liz stood up from their spots lounging on the floor to greet her. “Glad you made it” Liz offered as she gave Julie a hearty squeeze. “We were getting worried.”

“The usual holiday traffic” she shrugged, taking another long draw on the bottle in her hand “and I got waylaid via the bar… and a very talented artist,” She twisted around displaying the drawing on her back. “At least, I hope she’s talented.”

“Oooh, nice one” Jen commented, grabbing Julie’s shoulders and turning her around fully. “You don’t even know what it is do you?”

“Not a friggin’ clue” Julie laughed, “but it felt nice. What the hell is it anyway?”

“Some sort of swirly, tribal-looking design. Kinda looks like it’d normally be drawn with henna or something” Liz observed. “So who’s the artist?”

“Valerie” Julie smiled, turning back around. The comment had her two friends raising their eyebrows and looking at each other. In her peripheral view she caught sight of Valerie, Samantha and Travis making their entrance. “Speaking of…” she motioned to the dancers “looks like we’re about to get started.” The three took up their seats on the floor and settled in for the show.

From the moment they walked in Julie couldn’t take her eyes off Valerie. Her dance outfit consisted of a wrap top that cut off at the midriff, exposing a trim, muscular stomach, and flared-leg pants, trimmed with long blue fringe that accented her hips .

“Ladies and gentlemen today for your viewing pleasure these two lovely ladies have graciously agreed to honor us with a performance, after which we will have a toast, so everyone please make sure you have a drink in hand.” At Travis’s words a few people scrambled up and ran back to the main room, returning moments later with assorted beverages.

Once everyone had settled back down, the lights were dimmed, and somebody started up the music from the side of the room, and the dancers began. Julie watched along with the others in silent, rapt fascination as they moved gracefully and sensually across the floor, their hips moving with the rhythm of the music.

The performance completed to raucous applause and the lights came back up as Travis again took the floor and thanked the performers. Valerie and Samantha retrieved their drinks and stood to the side as Travis called Katherine up to join him and began his toast.

“I can’t think of a a group of people I’d rather have here in my house tonight as we ring in the new year, so if everyone would raise their glass…” but as he raised his cup he dropped it – revealing it was empty. As he leaned over to retrieve it, he deftly pulled a small box out of his pocket, and dropped to a knee, facing a thoroughly shocked Katherine as the room erupted in cheers. A gasp and a nod from Katherine had the group hooting and hollering again as Travis stood and placed the ring on her finger.

Julie was touched and very happy for her friends, but after the toast she quietly slipped outside and paced around the snow covered yard, trying to collect the emotions that were quickly getting out of her control. There was a time when she’d pictured a similar scene in her head with Carrie and herself – though she had to admit she was never sure which one of them would have been down on one knee.

The sound of the door opening caught her attention, and she looked up to see her friend Ryan closing it behind him. When it had been time to collect the last of her own things from the house it had been Ryan that helped her, and Ryan that had stayed the night with her, curled protectively around her as she cried herself to sleep. He’d gone through his own breakup with Erin not long before, and the two had spent many a night crying on each other’s shoulders. He stuck his hands in his pockets as he approached, hunching his shoulders a bit in deference to the chill in the night air.

“You okay kiddo?” he extracted a hand from its warm pocket and wrapped it around Julie’s shoulder pulling her close. His height advantage over Julie found her with her face in his chest, and she was glad for the comfort it brought – both physically and emotionally.

“No, and it annoys me that I’m not.” she admitted, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying herself further in his comforting warmth.

“I know hon, I know.” He pulled his other hand out of his pocket and returned the embrace. “Give yourself some time, huh? Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I’m really glad you’re here” she offered with a gentle squeeze. He held her for a moment, stroking her back lightly in a very comforting motion.

He kissed the top of her head “Me too.”

“You’re not here with anybody… right?” she asked hopefully

He pulled back from the embrace slightly, looking her in the eyes “No why?”

“Whaddya say we steal each other at midnight? I want my new year’s kiss.” she asked, with an eyebrow raised.

“It’d be an honor” he replied smiling. He took a quick look at his watch “But that means we need to get inside. It’s three minutes till.” Julie nodded. “C’mon I’ll grab us some champagne.”

From Some Other Beginning’s End – Chapter 3-5

Disclaimer: The following story is mostly true. Names have been changed to protect the stupid, and the heartbroken. Contains drinking, adult themes and may contain physical scenes between both hetero and homosexual couples (all consensual). If this offends you or is illegal where you live, find something else to read.

Chapter 3

The air had been turning colder for weeks as the leaves turned colors. Autumn had always been Julie’s favorite time of year, but as the days followed their stately march toward her birthday a knot formed in her stomach. She couldn’t help but think of the party that Carrie had thrown her last year – she had somehow managed to sneak all of their friends into the house in the half hour it had taken Julie and their friend Marissa to run to the grocery store and back.  Carrie had led her into the basement with everyone in tow, where several large boxes sat in the center of the floor. Said boxes contained the new drum kit that Julie had been dying for, but couldn’t bear to ask for because it was so expensive. She’d literally been moved to tears when Carrie explained that everybody present- and even a few people who couldn’t make it – had chipped in to get it for her.

A wave of emotion swept over her even now as she remembered the smiling faces of her friends, and Carrie’s beaming brown eyes looking over her as she pulled the pieces from the first box like a child at Christmas. Why did that day feel like it was a million miles away? As she turned up her collar to the fall breeze, Julie decided that since nobody else was going to be planning any surprises for her this year, she was going to have to make it a good day all on her own. With that determination in mind she set the key in the ignition and headed in to work.

Julie logged in to her computer and sighed. It was barely 9:15 and already the help desk queue had twenty requests. She began going down the list, prioritizing and delegating tasks. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes when she got to the third one down, marked urgent. She picked up the phone and dialed the familiar extension. “Hey Evan, can you head over to pediatrics first thing this morning? Dr. Peters forgot his password… yes again” she added, hearing the groan on the other end.

“No problem Julie I’ll head over there now. Y’know for somebody who’s so smart…” he began, but Julie cut him off.

“You don’t need to finish that sentence Evan. I hear ya. Just make sure you get there before he has a chance to call Angie. I don’t know about you but I don’t really feel like starting my day like that.”

The younger technician laughed “Yeah, no joke. Alright, I’m on my way. I’ll update the ticket once I’m done.”

“Thanks Ev” she said, and hung up the phone. Evan was technically still a teenager, but he held his own among the crew just fine. Julie couldn’t help but think of him like a younger brother though. She continued through the queue, assigning tasks, including a few to herself. As she looked at the list her mind wandered to her own to-do list of sorts. She thought of all the things she’d wanted to do that Carrie either couldn’t or wouldn’t do with her. A slight grin crept over her face as she reached for her cell phone.

Chapter 4

Within the week the birthday shenanigans had been finalized. Reservations were made, hotel rooms booked. Julie had always wanted to see what Salem was like around Halloween, but Carrie avoided any place deemed “touristy” like the plague. Well, every place except New York City. So Julie had decided exactly what she wanted to do to celebrate her first birthday as a single gal.

She had picked up Lisa in Connecticut on the way up to Massachusetts. It was a gorgeous, clear fall day, and the two sang show tunes in the car as the multicolored splendor of the New England fall foliage rolled by. Two hours later they pulled up to the curb in the quiet town of Beverly, a little bit away from the craziness of Salem proper. Staring through the car window at the decorations in the storefront, Julie swallowed her nervousness with a bit of excitement. “Here goes nothing!”

It only took a few moments to sign a couple of forms and before she knew it, Julie was sitting in what felt almost like a dentist’s chair, with the purple inked stencil already set upon her leg. Their friend Ray had designed it just for her, and he was certainly one to be trusted. His artwork was amazing and she had seen his tattoo work on others before.

Ray patiently explained the process as he removed the brand new needles from their packages and set up the gun, laying things on the sterile drape that had been placed on the work stand beside the chair. Turning to face her, the now completed apparatus in hand he smiled gently. “Ready for your first ink?”

Julie grabbed Lisa’s hand, as she nodded at Ray. Screwing up her face and bracing for what she was sure was going to be a searing pain, she closed her eyes as he began his work – only to open them seconds later, a genuine look of surprise on her face. “Oh! That’s not bad at all!” she said, breathing a sigh of relief. Patting Lisa’s hand, still entwined with her own she looked at her companion, chuckling softly “I guess I won’t need to squeeze the life out you after all.”

Lisa smiled and withdrew her hand, but didn’t leave the side of the chair. “Very cool – but I’ll stay here just the same, in case you change your mind.”

The three chatted as the artwork on Julie’s leg took shape – a Hawaiian styled tribal sea turtle. In less than an hour, Ray was carefully wrapping a bandage around her leg to keep it clean, and handing her instructions on how to clean and care for the tattoo while it healed.

As they walked out of the shop Julie almost didn’t recognize Jen standing in the lobby. A double-take had Julie squealing as she threw her arms around her friend, glad she’d made it.

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you” Jen offered with a smirk.

“Sorry, was kind of in my own world there I guess.” she admitted. “I take it Liz has too much work to do?”

“Yeah, this class is killing her, and her advisor is an ass. She sends her love though. So, you ready Birthday Girl?”

Julie wiggled her eyebrows and smiled. “Let’s go paint the town!”

Chapter 5

Julie awoke the next morning, slightly hung over. Bleary-eyed she looked around the hotel room where she, Lisa and Jen had crashed for the night. She stretched and then winced as the raw skin on her leg brushed against the soft sheets, a subtle reminder that yes, the last twenty-four hours had in fact occurred.

The previous evening had gone mostly as hoped – though Julie noted wryly that the only ones to hit on her at the bars were all guys. She rolled her eyes at the universe. Where were they when I was in college? Cursing her luck she rolled over and tried to settle back down. Light snores told her that both her roommates were still fast asleep. A pang of jealousy hit her as she realized that both of them had loving partners to go home to when they woke up. Lisa had John, and Jen had Liz; nothing waited for her but an empty apartment. She shut her eyes tightly, fighting back tears as she rolled the other way, facing the wall rather than her friends.

Julie hardly noticed the foliage this time as she drove home, having dropped of Lisa back in Connecticut. Dragging herself through the door, she tossed her keys into the basket on the living room table and headed toward the kitchen. She knew better, but right now she didn’t feel like thinking. She poured herself a glass of white wine and took a long drink. She refilled the glass and made her way toward the living room. Turning on the television she flipped around for about ten minutes before finally settling on a movie she’d seen at least a dozen times. It wasn’t long though before the movie and the glass of wine were both forgotten, as the alcohol had its desired effect and Julie drifted asleep.

From Some Other Beginning’s End – Chapters 1-2

Disclaimer: The following story is mostly true. Names have been changed to protect the stupid, and the heartbroken. Contains drinking, adult themes and may contain physical scenes between both hetero and homosexual couples (all consensual). If this offends you or is illegal where you live, find something else to read.

Chapter 1

Julie placed yet another box into the back of the trailer and swiped at her brow with the back of her hand. The humid summer evening held no breeze, and no relief from the sweat that drenched her shirt, causing it to stick to her uncomfortably. I really am a sucker – she thought to herself, as she turned back toward the house to grab another load.  She broke up with me and here I am helping her move her crap so she can go on some adventure… She shook her head to clear her thoughts, though it didn’t do her any good.

She picked up a box off the porch as Carrie stepped out of the screen door, another load in her hands. “You know you don’t have to do this Jules” she began, but Julie just shrugged.

“I know I don’t, but you’re too damn stubborn to ask anyone else, and I still care.” She sighed as she shifted the box in her hands “Besides, we’re almost done.”

Carrie offered a half-smile as she stepped off the porch “Thanks. For what it’s worth it means a lot to me.” Julie watched as her former lover strode past her toward the trailer, her long ponytail swishing behind her. It had only been two months since they had moved to this house – the house that was supposed to be their country respite while they saved for the down payment on their future dream home. The search for a place and the move from the city had been tough, but Julie was so sure once they were settled out here where Carrie grew up things would calm back down to the happiness they once shared. Instead things only got worse, until Julie had to ask the question she didn’t want to know the answer to – and heard the words she was dreading.

They finished loading the trailer in relative silence, broken only by the shuffle of boxes and the occasional groan as one of them lifted a package that turned out to be heavier than expected.

As Carrie locked up the trailer, Julie plopped herself on the porch next to Orion, the lop-eared mutt that shared their lives. He’d be heading cross-country with Carrie, and Julie knew she was going to miss him almost as much as she was Carrie. She bit back tears as a cold nose and soft brown eyes sought out her face. “I’m going to miss you too boy,” she whispered as she took his head in her hands and scratched him behind both ears “but you be good for your momma okay?” A soft wet tongue lapped at her nose in response and she couldn’t help but chuckle, even as a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

“He’s going to miss you too y’know.” Julie looked up to see Carrie at the foot of the steps with her arms crossed over her chest. “I…” she started, but shook her head, unable to complete the sentence. “We should both try to get some rest.” Julie nodded as she stood and turned to head into the house with Orion on her heels. Once inside the two women turned in separate directions – Carrie headed upstairs while Julie made her way toward the living room. Orion stood in the empty kitchen for a few moments, looking back and forth to each doorway, apparently confused as to why his family was no longer all sleeping in the same place, but a whistle from upstairs perked his ears and he bounded toward the summons.

Julie lay in her sleeping bag in the otherwise barren living room, exhausted but unable to quiet her mind enough for sleep. She stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out what had gone wrong between her and the woman who occupied the room directly above her. She closed her eyes and turned to her side – the first of countless tosses and turns for that night before she finally dozed off.

With no curtains on the windows to darken the room, Julie was awake at first light, despite having little rest. It’s better this way she thought to herself as she rolled up her sleeping bag. She quickly dressed and quietly let herself out of the house, and out of Carrie’s life. Thoughts of a hot shower and a soft bed kept her going on the hour-long drive to her new apartment, where it didn’t take her long to cry herself to sleep.

Chapter 2

Julie stabbed at the peas on her plate as music far too cheerful for her tastes hummed in the background. She was only vaguely aware of the fact that one of them had flown from her plate until a sharp “Hey!” pulled her from her musings. She looked up to see her friend Tara fishing the offending vegetable out of her cleavage.

“Sorry, I just figured maybe your cell phone and keys would like some company” she offered with a light chuckle. Tara had a habit of keeping an assortment of odd things tucked away in her ample bosom and Julie never let an opportunity to tease her about it get away.

“Well you didn’t have to pee on me” Tara shot back with a wink, amused at her own cleverness.  Julie laughed, despite herself. “C’mon, you begged me to go out – said you were sick of being cooped up in that apartment, and now you sit here an mope? What gives?”

“Sorry Tee, you’re right. It’s been months. I need to pull my head out of my ass.”

“You talked to her again, didn’t you?” Tara asked, with a knowing tone.

“Maybe.” Tara shot her a look “Okay yeah I talked to her. We still talk a lot.” Julie fidgeted with the straw in her seltzer, poking at the slice of lemon that had sunk to the bottom of the glass. “Long before we were lovers we were best friends – that’s hard to just walk away from.”

“I know hon, but you’re in a far bigger funk than you usually are after talking to her. What did you talk about?”

Julie took a deep breath as she continued to play with the straw, avoiding eye contact. “She’s moved on” she managed, her voice barely audible over the din of the restaurant. From the corner of her eye she could see Tara sit back in the booth, nodding.

“I had a feeling. I’m sorry honey.” They sat in silence for a few moments before Tara managed the next question. “Someone out there?”

“No, someone back here” she grumbled. “The same someone who she claimed was trying to help her salvage what we had, while Carrie was trying to help Morgan save her relationship with Luke.” She finally gave up on mutilating the lemon in her glass and threw up her hands. “She swears nothing happened while we were still together but jeez, did it really have to be her? Bad enough if it were some stranger out there that I could just hate from a distance, but now I have this in my face every time all our friends get together?” Julie blew out an exasperated breath. “And she totally sat there like nothing was wrong all last weekend, though apparently she and Luke finally had it out. They’re officially through.”

Tara nodded while her friend ranted. She knew she needed this – needed to get out the anger, the frustration the betrayal. “Have you talked to Morgan since Carrie told you all this?” She asked quietly.

Julie shook her head. “What would I say? What good would it do? And worse, we’re all in the bridal party when Lisa and John get married next year.” She held up a staying hand as Tara opened her mouth to speak . “I’m not backing out of the wedding – that’s not fair to the bride and groom. I’m a big girl. I’ll deal with it.” She let out a deep sigh as she placed her elbows on the table, propping up her head in her hands. “Besides, it’s not like I didn’t know Carrie was going to move on before I did.”

“I know it hurts now Jules, but give it time” Tara offered, placing a hand on Julie’s arm. “You two were together for over three years – and you were friends before that. Give yourself time to heal, don’t beat yourself up because she’s over it faster. It’s not a race.”

Julie just shook her head “Either way, I lost.”